Diary of a Fat White Woman

"What's The Purpose Of Your Purpose?"

We're here for a purpose aren't we? I find it difficult to wrap my thoughts around the concept that some people think we're born, we live and then we die. Can we really look at the miracle of our existence and believe this? We have to be here for a reason, otherwise, what are we hanging around for?

I've asked people on occasion "What's your purpose in life?" Some are quick to answer, sharing why their here, and the significant things their doing in their lives. Too often, many of those "things" involve the size of our house, our bank account and how others view our status." Others tell me that their not sure what their purpose is, thinking that some Divine message will be delivered one day and they'll understand what they need to do to  begin living their purpose.

The answers I really enjoy are from those who jump up exclaiming "Yes! I have a purpose and I'm living it every day!" They then go on to share stories about how much of their past lives were wasted time, living the dream that so many fall victim to. don't get me wrong, creature comforts and feeling secure in being able to provide for family are very important and should be a part of our lives. But that's not what our purpose is suppose to be about is it?

How do you know if you're living your purpose? How about starting out by asking yourself a few simple questions. {Don't lie to yourself....no one is watching!} Think about these questions as a beginning to recognizing if you're living the purpose intended for you:

1.) Am I using my passions as a way to impact others lives?

2.) When i think about the things I do, am I able to say that they positively impact the lives of others or do I think about how much money I'm going to make?

3.) At the end of the day, did my accomplishments benefit me and my banking account or other people?

4.) Do you have any passions or dreams that you're not chasing because you don't have the time or money to chase them?

5.) If your a spiritual person, would God look at you as a faithful servant?

Ok, so how did you do? Feel any guilt? did you think to yourself "ok, I get it, but there's always tomorrow?" Did you breeze through these and end with a smile on your face knowing that you're living the purpose intended for your life? Did a flash go off reminding you that you're in idle and it's time to shift gears?

Our pastor shared last week that too many of us live in idle mode and I can't say i disagree with him on this. In fact, it was one of those times that I know he planned his message knowing I'd be in the audience {he has this power and it drives me crazy!!} But he's right isn't he? we think about what we're really here for, we know in our hearts that there's more to our life and we know our days are numbered but........

But what? so we can have more money in the bank? So we can buy those extra pieces of clothing or that new car or that bigger house? So we can invite friends over to see our "stuff?"

How about we look at the other side of the "bet" for a minute......So we can be away form our children entirely too much? So we can watch our marriages crumble due to lack of attention? So that we can put ourselves further into debt? So that we can miss out on the opportunities to create memories with our families? So that we can miss out on our legacy?

What's the purpose of your purpose if you're not going to live it? Why have a purpose? Why dare to dream? why strengthen relationships? Why Love life? Why live for God?

What gear are you in? Do you know what gear your in? Do you want to change gears? Do you have th guts to change gear?

Care to share? Leave a comment if you know the purpose of your purpose. I'd love to read it! If you don't leave a comment about why. {If you don't care either way, probably not  good idea to leave a comment...}

What's the purpose of your purpose?

Theresa

"Are Stretch Marks a Punishment??"

Let's be honest.....if you've had children, don't stand there and tell me that you have "zero" stretchmarks!! After my share of pregnancies, I find it a little difficult to believe that a woman can get back to her "normal" weight and shave no stretchmarks. If you're one of those freaky people who can still get into the little polka dot bikini after experiencing childbirth and are able to display skin with no stretchmarks....you may want to question if the pregnancy was a product of your imagination!

I am stretch mark queen.......I don't say this simply or with pride....it's just a reality that i must live with each and every day i step out of the shower and see myself in the mirror. My body is a device that attracts stretch marks....and they grow like a bad virus. behind the knees, on the thighs, stomach area, and let's not forget the area we so lovingly refer to as "our human maracas!" One more area has fallen victim to these nasty skin deformers and it's the chest area. In this area of the body, they're out of control.....I think some of mine spell out phrases of some kind.....an underlying message to me, telling that it's only going to get worse as I get older.

So.....how do we rid our bodies of these obscene marks you might ask? Cocoa butter perhaps? No, this only works on reducing their effects "before" the problem begins. Those of you who are procrastinators and forget to rub on the lotion before birth....to bad. Do any of those infomerical promoted items work? I'll have to lean to the cautious side and say "Probably not, but they can empty our wallets if we let them." So, what's the remedy? I've found one thing that works quite effective, no matter how many stretchmarks you have an where they are.......

CLOTHING!!!!! Cover them up!!! Don't let exposure give your nasty secret away!!! Turtlenecks, long sleeve shirts, pants to the ankle.....heck, you may need a scarf if yours are really bad.....Do whatever is required but cover those ugly things up before anyone has the opportunity to comment on them or worse yet....take a picture!!!

Theresa

"My Meandering Midriff!!"

Yes, I have a midriff...and yes, I truly believe it's meandering. It's very simple to explain...even to a person who doesn't quite understand what a midriff is, and how it could possibly meandering. 

 Quite some time ago, I noticed my midriff taking on a new form. This new form is what we call "expansion." I didn't take a special pill for this, nor, did I order it form a catalog. Like many other middle age anomalies, it just decided to make an appearance one day. My assumption was that to ignore my midriff would result in its disappearance, which seemed like the logical next step for me to take. But did this happen? Of course not!! Against strict instruction from my inner body self, my midriff invited a few friends over to join it....we'll call these friends the "fat cell." There was an entire family of these fat cells.....mother father, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, grandparents (from both sides of the family) and too many cousins to count! They came over, uninvited by me of course. Were they invited??? Of course not!! But as most families do, they chose themselves to move in without any consideration to the homeowners feelings.

I believe that some of these "fat cell" members have given birth.....possibly to quadruplets or something because they're taking up more and more space. I did what every responsible homeowner would do when the fat cells became unruly and belligerent......I put up an eviction notice with a 30 day move out demand. Do you think they've listened? Of course not!!!

So.....I am a homeowner with a few tenants....that have moved in and refuse to leave....I recently noticed that they've invited another friend to move into my downstairs apartment as well... but this is a story for another day.....

Do I qualify for an extreme home makeover???

Theresa

"It Must Be Medical"

When you can't give reason to something going on it your life......blame it on a medical problem!!!!

One day I'm going to get on this site and say that the Diary of a Fat White Woman doesn't need to go on because I'm so skinny it wouldn't be right to do. But since my body has made it's own decision regarding the trip to a thinner me, the diary will go on, at least until I can figure this mess out!

I wish I understood the chemistry of the body so that I could understand why I'm not getting slimmer. Could it be a medical problem? Maybe my thyroid? (Doesn't one of them cause you to gain?? Is it contagious? could I have this?) Or maybe, my body is "confused" and thinks that any food I consume, be it healthy or loaded with everything bad is meant to put on weight.

I am convinced that on Tuesday I consumed 5 bottles of water and no food and added 4 pounds to my mass. Is this possible? Maybe someone is playing with my scale. it would be just like my kids to "tweak" it to put me into chaos. If not the kids then maybe one of the dogs? My husband wouldn't do this......he understands the value of living with a woman who is in a positive state of mine. He's experienced me outside of this state and I assure you he does not long for it to return.....

It must be medical. After all, I know it's not because of what I'm eating..... :-)

Theresa

"It Won't Stop Going Up!!!"

Yes!!! I'm talking about my weight!!! I've mentioned before on another seciton of my blog that was was caught up in the "workforce reductions" at work....(nice way to say "laid off!") and my entire schedule has been altered. I still get up every morning at 5:00 and stay up past a normal bed time. During the day I'm very busy, keeping up on things at home, doing homework and studying, looking for work and anything I can fit in to my day. I'm not sitting in front of the television eating bon bons (although I've heard that this is a wonderful thing to do!) I'm active and on the go, making sure that my life doesn't get stagnant as I go through this transition time.

So why on earth is my weight going up and not down? (Or at the very least, staying the same?) Maybe old age is hitting me faster then most and I'm going through that phase of shrinking and expanding? You know, when you get shorter and your hips get wider? But I'm too young for that and my height hasn't changed.

For one of my classes, I have to trackeverything I eat and my activity for the next 3 days, maybe this will unveil the mystery that I have yet been able to uncover by obvious means.

I just don't get it.......Time to go for a bike ride.....maybe I'll get rid of a few calories that way (or with the way things are going...I'll gain a few!!)

Theresa

"This Stuff Really Works!!!"

Go figure......I lose about 15 pounds, start feeling really good physically and BOOM!!!!! I go on vacation and ruin it!!! Don't ever think you can go to a camp in the woods and diet.....it's not humanly possible to do!!! at least not for me.......

I ate so poorly and the sad thing is, I knew I was doing it and I didn't stop!! All those whoopie pies....smores by the campfire......(ok, I ate marshmallows on the side but they were calling me!!) Pasta, potatoes, lobster (of course, with butter!) and a delightful drink called Moxie which has about 300 calories a can!!! I went from pretty lady to butterball queen in 10 days!!!

So now I'm watching what I eat again, slowly shedding a few pounds here and there.....BUT, I found a product that is helping to "aid" in my digestion and it really works!! have you tried Activia? You know, that yogurt stuff in the green containers? Commercials are everywhere for it but I've never been one to buy into commercials so I never really considered it.

I decided to give it a try. One Activia in the morning for breakfast with a bottle of water, a grilled chicken Caesar salad from McD's for lunch (Although I'm home now so I make my own "boring" salad....) and a reasonable dinner. Within a few days miracles started to happen!! I'm feeling a whole lot better physically and digestively (is that a word?) and I'm starting to lose my butterball image again!!! YEAH!!!

So I recommend it for anyone who hasn't tried it. not sure what else works but I remain a product skeptic. So if you know of anything else that doesn't involve needles or pills, please chime in and tell me all about it!!

Until next time!

Theresa

"Human Maraca's!"

My sister called me yesterday to let me know that there was a truer name for my arm swings used by a friend of hers. She calls them "human maraca's!" Isn't that hysterical? What's even funnier is that I now realize I'm not the only one to name parts of my body that are considered to be a freak of nature...others are doing this as well and man are they being creative!

I wonder if this lady who uses this term swings her arms, watching the skin shift back and forth, wishing for the sound of maraca's to play, making the reality of her deformity that much more acceptable? We should start piercing this part of our body.....think about it, it's not like there is a lack of skin in this area or fat for that matter. Maybe you could do multiple piercing and tie them somehow to give the appearance that there is less there.....

Why can't we just call fat by it's real name? Because it sounds horrible and non-appealing that's why......To make fun of it is to minimize the reality of it and this is something we American's are good at!

Human Maraca's.....arm swings.......I'm still searching for the perfect name......

Theresa

"Down 7 Pounds and Craving Chocolate!"

Would someone please invent diet chocolate!!! I'm willing to pay dearly for it and promise to eat it all!

I'm down 7 pounds since starting to diet, unfortunately, it's more from being sick then dieting. My eating is limited, I'm sleeping horribly and I have mountains of stress. If ever there was a diet that didn't require pills, this is the one!

It's amazing how just 7 pounds can make you look / feel different. The problem is, I'm not really losing it from my "challenged" areas. It's coming off of every other place I don't need to lose anything! But, since I have shed a few pounds, I decided that a "little" chocolate treat wouldn't be a bad thing right? It's all about moderation.....

Soooooo......I went to the store and bought a mixed bag of candy that had kisses, rolo's and reeses miniatures. All I wanted was the reeses but I figured the ladies at work would enjoy a treat from my candy jar as well so I put the others in there for them. This was at 10:30 this morning. Do you know that by 1:00, I had 1 reeses miniature left!!! I won't name names, the guilty know who they are (skinny girls) but they felt it perfectly ok to rummage through the jar and remove all of my happiness.......Thanks ladies, and you wonder why I'm cranky by mid afternoon........blame yourselves......

I'll keep my reeses in my purse from now on as they obviously can't be trusted. I know they enjoyed my treats, maybe guilt will take over enough for them to buy a few for me in the future. Knowing them they will but they'll eat them before the return to the office! Candy stealer's are low on my list of people to respect......just so you know......

Keep this in mind next time you venture in to visit my candy jar......

"A New Diet"

Here's my new diet idea in case you're looking for one.....

Get up super early in the morning, like 5AM when no one else is up and start doing housework. Start with laundry, then cleaning floors (which includes vacuuming, sweeping, and shampooing the rug) then move on to emptying the dishwasher and filling it again, cleaning the kitchen down, dusting, laundry, folding clothes, running your kids to a birthday party, doing your homework, more laundry folding, empty the dishwasher and fold everything (oops, that's the laundry again, not the dishwasher!), clean your kids bathroom (because you get tired of asking them to do it and they obviously don't understand the term "clean"....clean your ow bathroom, the guest bathroom (can we say tooooo many bathrooms!!) make meals, clean up after, sweep the lanai, then the deck of the pool, pick up leaves that were left from your child raking yesterday (at least they raked!).....you fill in the rest....

See anything about eating, drinking, taking time for you in this? Of course you don't! That's why it's the ultimate diet!! The key is to do it every single day without reducing the amount you do and before you know it you'll be so think, you'll turn sideways and no one will see you!! And how happy you'll be that you've lost the weight!!

This is pure sarcasm on my part....although it was my world today......I'm breathing right now, taking a little me time.....maybe I'll go grab something to eat....maybe not....I have more laundry to do......

Arm Swings....the Saga Continues.....

My son has decided that walking behind me and gently nudging my arm swings is an acceptable form of affection. He giggles in a way that says, this is just too good to resist again, and swings just one more time. What does he think? I'm going to wake up in the morning and the arm swings are going to be gone? Do these things just pack up and leave because we will them to?

I'm thinking tattoo on them. Why not? Men get tattoo's on their arms of women, only to get the remade into something else after they've dumped the woman displayed on their arm. Next thing you know, "Jennifer" has become a plane with flames shooting out its hind end.....So why can't I do this with my arm swings? I'm thinking a flower garden with a few blue jays flying around. That should keep those little hands away from the swing right? How amazing if I could do scratch n sniff......interesting.......

Swing it again little boy, and you may find yourself swinging in the front lawn with a  rake for the next week.......:-)

Until Next time

Theresa

"Dare to Bare your Arm Swings!"

I'm off to work, yes, running a bit behind.....another story for another day. I had to let you know that I decided to rebel against my arm swings today and therefore, I'm going sleeveless!!! Yes, there they are, all hanging out, just waiting for one of my children or someone else to walk by and give them a gentle nudge. But I don't care today. It's Florida, hot, humid and time to be comfortable.

So bare those arm swings America!! Let them show and be proud of the playground you carry around on your own person!!! It's time to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and do what makes us comfortable.

I'll let you know tomorrow if anyone swings me......I pity the person who would attempt this as today is not the day......

Until next time!

Tootles!
Theresa