Diary of a Fat White Woman

Denouncing "I Love You.....But"!

Have you heard this prhase recently? It seems that when I become aware of something being said, I hear it more frequently throughout the day. This is a phrase I've heard quite a bit lately and I have to be honest in saying that I just don't care for it.

So why does this one stick in my craw and irritate the Simon right out of me? After thinking about it for a while,. I've come to the conclusion that I don't care for this phrase because of who is saying it and the context in which is it being used. I'm speaking specifically about Christians who use this phrase in their conversation with other christians. There is no specific example to be given (if I did, some would be quite upset thinking it was them I was directing this to), just suffice it to say that if a person is giving "loving" advice to another and this phrase comes up, it comes across to me as a way to soften a negative blow about to be delivered. For example, if you feel that you are of the level of expertise to critique how another CHristian is living their life and the conversation won't be positive, you begin with the softening opener of I love you "but". What follows can typically be described as a critique of the other persons shortcomings which is sure to cause pain at some level. But because "I love you...but" is placed at the beginning of the discussion, it gives free reign to the person speaking because they are now speaking out of love.

Ok, call me crazy but is it ok for something being said out of love have a condition to it? Are we allowed to criticize another person and get away with it beacuse we've prefaced the talk with love? Are we really speaking a message that God himself would speak when we use the word "but" after the I love you part?

Imagine if in various sections of the bible God states that he loves us and then follows it up with a "but." Now I think he would be the only one justified in doing this as he is God but he doesn't do this does he? He speaks truth without condition, he speaks love without condition, he doesn't throw in the conditional words, which we all know, we would be qualified recipients for if he so chose to do this.

So what's the point? Simply this.....when you speak in love, speak in love. Love doesn't hurt, it doesn't cause pain and it doesn't criticize. Words of love that are spirit filled are beautiful and encouraging, not negative and condemning. Watch your words and follow the old adage..."if you can't say something nice....say nothing"!

Theresa

On those days I feel like dying......

 

Have you ever had one of those days that you were so worn out or weary that you just want to drift off into a forever sleep? Of course, you want to wake up from the sleep eventually but you also want it to last long enough that you are able to restore your energy level to normal levels. Can you relate to this?

Some days I am so worn out that I just want to crawl into that quiet place and enter into a deep hibernation with no predetermined end date or time. I've only experienced this over the past six months or so and although it's not something I feel on a daily basis, it has occurred several times.

I'm speaking of a spiritual weariness, one that comes from feeling a deep burden for the current state of our world.  I watch lukewarm Christians around me, going through the "churchy" motions without any visible signs of fire in them. They attend church, infrequently attend bible studies or church functions and offer donations to causes that won't challenge their wallets. Lukewarm isn't hot and it isn't cold, it's just lukewarm.....this burdens my heart and on some days I don't want to live amongst this.

I've caught myself on occasion praying to God about my time here on earth, how long before I get to return to him and leave this lukewarm world. As my spiritual growth matures, I find myself craving more of him and less of the world around me. I have to remember that he has plans for me here and only he is able to decide when I'm to return to my eternal home. In the meantime, I'm to spend my time in service to things that bring him glory. This is not an easy role to take on as I still must exist in the world around me. I must continue to learn the concept of dying to self in order to live for Christ. I'm thankful that God recognizes my weary times and chooses to lift me up and provide the strength I require to continue on.

I wonder where our sense of urgency went. When did it become "acceptable" to be lukewarm? When did we decide that we were willing to settle for lukewarm? I refuse to buy into this mentality; instead, I choose to live loud for Christ and to jump on to the "sense of urgency train" with other like minded Christians!  

Are you coming along? There are always more seats available for those ready to leave the lukewarm world!!

Theresa