Diary of a Fat White Woman

"The Age of Being UnFiltered"

I'm getting older, from what I am told, this opens up additional permissions for me as an adult, it's like a rite of passage. I get to participate in the hot flash movement, am free to express myself through mood swings and best of all; I am allowed to become unfiltered! If you're under 40, be aware that these luxuries in life are not afforded to you as they are to women of my age {listen to me making myself sound like I've got one foot in the grave!!} but, you are allowed to watch and learn from those of us who have been promoted to the world of middle age womanhood living!!

So, back to being unfiltered......how did I arrive at this point in my life and am I happy here? Well, I know that I have developed a subtle intolerance for ignorance in other people, especially those who are younger and have not reached middle age. Is it just me or are younger people these days lacking in the basics such as common sense, the ability to articulate efficiently and the willingness to shut up and listen to those beyond them in years?

Open mouth insert foot doesn't seem to be important anymore, they just speak what's on their mind without any displayed level of class or intelligence. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for saying what you feel, but have we lost the ability to deliver a message with consideration of the other persons feelings in mind? And to make matters worse, many of us just stand by and let people speak out of turn or disrespectfully without uttering a word in response because we don't want to "offend" or "upset" the other person........do you see anything wrong with this picture?

I'm getting older {I keep saying this don't I?} and I'm realizing that I don't have time to sit idly by and say nothing to those who speak or act immaturely, I just don't have it in me anymore to worry about softening the delivery of my communication for fear of ruffling another person’s feathers. If you're going to say something I don't agree with, or say something out of turn, be prepared for my response.....I can assure you it will be forthcoming.

I'm pretty much over trying to build up my "friends" list in facebook, if you're going to put your words out there for everyone to see and hear, be willing to get an honest response from people like me that have reached the unfiltered phase of life.

So here's my first public unfiltered statement which irks me to no end..... if you're an older adult and your body weight has "shifted" over the years, don't wear tight spandex in public and get upset when you know people are gawking and talking about you!! They're unattractive, inappropriate and unfair to the rest of our eyes to have to see. With all the retail stores out there {and consignment shops if you need to save some money} you can find a pair of real material pants to wear when you're in public. We don't need to play the game of "count the dimples"....

Another unfiltered comment about style while we're on the subject......if you're blessed with an overabundance of fluff on your top end, how about leaving some of it tucked inside of your blouse? If a woman is well endowed, does she have to reveal to the world that she has a 4 inch crease line between her ladies? If your blouse is revealing too much, recognize that you probably need to suck it up and go for a bigger blouse to keep things in check. {And don't even get me started on women who are largely stacked with tattoos showing....aaaggghhhh!!!} We woman have to respect what we've been given and demonstrate some class to the rest of the population!!

My final unfiltered comment is for those who think its ok to butt in with their own advice and opinion about another person’s affairs just because they think they have all the answers {you know who you are!!} Here's the rule we should all follow:::: If you have no responsibility or ownership of the content of the conversation....don't give your advice or opinion! Listen, offer support and encouragement and then...you guessed it...."open mouth, insert foot!!" I may share my life challenges with you but I'm not looking for you to solve them. I do also not need to hear about how you went through the exact same things and as a result of your experience; you hold the answers to all my problems! I am sharing with you but unless I request it....please don't share with me. {This of course excludes family because we are entitled to get into each other’s business...it's out rite of passage}.

I've got some work to do on this unfiltered thing....I really love people and I recognize that we're all in different stages of life and we all have stories to share, I've got my own just like the next person. 90% of our time should be spent listening and 10% talking. The question to ask yourself is "am I using my 10% in a manner that is good for me and others or am I just wasting my air"?

I feel better now......no apologize for my unfiltered post.....I'm getting older.....

Theresa

 

The Battle of the Bra.....

I got this email from a reader and just HAD to share it with you!! Let's see if we can help a sista out!!!  

Dear Diary of a Fat White Woman,

Seriously, if you do not find humor in this for me I will cryyyyyy!!!!!! EVERY one of my bras has shrunk! I try each one on and I look like I have Big boob and Baby boob poking out of the top!! I tried a Victoria’s secret bra that claims to "hold them up" but I literally could not breathe as they were fighting for space with my double chin!

So I decided to run off and just buy a new bra but do you think I could find one without padding..........NOT!!!!! Well, actually I found a sports bra without any but when I tried it on it mashed my sisters and added 40 pounds to my trunk area!!!

Now seriously I’m touting around a set that size in at a whopping 40 DDDDDDDDDDDD..........do I really need padding?? Is there not enough of me in there already without adding additional width? I’m convinced that all the major bra factories are staffed by flat-chested women who envy us busty girls and retaliate by making our lives miserable by adding padding to everything! Don’t hate me because I’m bigger than you up there!!!

This discussion focuses on my undergarments, but can you just imagine my frustration in attempting to locate bathing suits and tank tops? People look at me as if I’m purposefully creating a scene just to shock people but I’m not!

If anyone knows of a way that I can contain my sisters while also getting through my day comfortably, I’m all ears!! (Actually, I’m not all ears…I’m all boobs…but I digress…)

Help me, that’s all I say........If I cant laugh about this I am truly going to cry!! Please find the humor in my pain...
Signed,
An ACTUAL Fat White Woman!

 

Dear ACTUAL,

It sounds as if you have a "large" dilemma on your hands (actually...on your chest!) I don't know if going to Victoria Secret (push-up central) is the place I would recommend for someone in your predicament!

First of all, one problem I see is the material being used to make the undergarments. Cotton?? Seriously?? IT SHRINKS!! But what are your options? Maybe other materials would be better options....

Burlap....too heavy and itchy

Silk....slippery! (yeah, you don't need slippery do you?)

Denim....heavy and not real moveable

Ace bandage...it may be tight, unattractive and leave you sweaty but you just may lose a few inches like hey advertise in those "sweat it off" commercials! (ok, bad idea I guess...)

Go without wearing anything....I daresay this is not the right answer based on your email but hey, some people do this and seem to be ok with it!

I'm thinking "spandex!" It's light, flexible, and from those spandex pants I've seen on some women, it pulls everything you've got in (although, I've also seen some with bulging problems!)

Readers....this ones for you....what can you recommend to help Actual gain some relief? Be bold and share your ideas....her dilemma may be your dilemma as well!

Theresa

 

Wedgies Aren't For Amatuers!!

You know you've had one of "those" days right? That pair of pants that you thought would look good with that certain top, only to find out (after you've left for work of course) that the undergarments you chose to wear that day weren't going to play nicely with the pants! All that work to dress in comfort while not losing a sense of style lost to the battle of the wedgie!!

Last week I wore those panties with a different pair of pants and they fit just fine. It's not that they're new, in fact, they're quite worn in, right at the age that you want your panties.....that "just right fittin" age. Then one day, for no reason, other than to cause chaos, they decide to sit off kilter and make you uncomfortable. And they don't just make you uncomfortable for a few minutes, or even, a few hours right? No......they decide to reek havoc the entire day long!!!

The solution? Well, a couple options as I see it.....first, you can throw them out. But we women don't like to part with something that once brought us comfort do we? we're pantie hoarders in some sense I think....we hold on to the bitter end. Second, we could take that extra few bucks at pay day and "splurge" on some new whities (or colories...whatever your preference). I know...I'm create a nervousness in some right now cause we're thinking "how dare we take money away from more important things such as kids needs or food for the family?" Why do we consider it selfish to fill our own need of a small purchase of whities....aren't we important?

Wedgies aren't for amatuers....I should know, I am one. I am defeated and will cast away the wedgie wonders for a new pair of tighty whities next pay day.....and, if I'm feeling sassy, I may even look into that triple pack of fruities at Walmart.....oh....to live so large!!!

Theresa

"Wanted....Skinny Woman To Wear My Bikini....."

My next advertisement for the local newspaper will read as follows:

"Wanted....Skinny woman to wear my bikini while pretending to be me..." Height must be proportionate to weight (assuming both are perfect), skin tone resembling a copper penny (no spray on tans please), must sport high quality manicure and pedicure (preferably in a shade of red to match the bikini), no visible scars or tattoos (unless your tattoo is my husbands name and tastefully done), long legs that never end, dainty fingers and wrists, a voice that speaks softly while being strong enough for others to want to listen, hypnotic eyes and long soft wispy curls that create a perfect shell around the face.

Those having the following "additional" qualifications need not apply:

Wrinkles of any kind, anywhere....gray hair, crows feet, protruding veins, scars or strecthmarks (including those that you've attempted to cover up with a tattoo - exception: your tattoo is my husbands name and tastefully done), exceptionally long or large ear lobes, double chin, swollen hands, legs, feet (this includes cankles), a deep southern drawl, a wardrobe that has any plaid in it (or any other clothing you've kept with you since high school).

If you have body parts that have been referred to as any of the following, you are unqualified to apply as well:

Muffin top, rhino rump, hippo hips, baby fat, beer belly, tootie fruity bootie, arm maracas (or, arm swings), heifer, jelly belly, chunky, thunder thighs, fluffy, pleasantly plump, large and in charge, tubby, pudgy, rollie pollie, plump, rotund, chubby, beefy, porky, flabby, flubby, big boned or dumpling. Note::if you are aware of any other terms that should be included here, please let me know. I don't want to give the appearance that I'm leaving anyone out....

Would you read this and consider me a vain person? Would you find me to have a lower than normal self-esteem (or the appearance of none whatsoever?) Do you sit at on your side of the computer screen thinking "Now here's a gal that's got the right idea.....she recognizes her "inadequacies" and is willing to shout out to the world "I'm not at all pleased with who I am!"

Now turn the mirror around and take a glance at the person you see. Which part of the advertisement above do you fit into? When was the last time that you long to look like someone else, act like someone  else, have what someone else had, all because you weren't pleased with the body, brains and personality you've been blessed with? How many times have you dieted, exercised and shopped, only to find yourself more depressed about the real you than you were when you began? How many times have you whispered to yourself "If only....."

Some may say it's my age, or, a decreased desire to waste energy on continually focusing on my outside appearance but my perspective on how others view me and how I view myself have changed over the past few years. Sure, I want to be able to dress up, wear a little makeup and smell like fresh flowers every once and a while.....I desire to receive "the look" from my husband when we're in public or even sharing quiet times alone. I just don't seem to be consumed anymore with how my outside self looks these days. Instead, I'm discovering that there's a whole other part of "me" that needs focused attention and work------my "inner self."

My inner self was left alone, without grooming for far too long, but there is still time to dust off the cobwebs and decorate! How I care for what's inside will shine through on the outside, allowing all a glimpse of who I really am....a beautiful and wonderfully made me!

To say that I was anything less than beautiful would be saying that God creates imperfect things wouldn't it? God set me apart before I was even conceived, he designed me, created me and planned my life.....God doesn't mess up with anything he is in charge of, this includes me!

The bikini....well, Goodwill is always taking donations and someone may be able to make it work for them. I love who I am and am thankful for one-pieces!!

Theresa

"My Meandering Midriff..."

Yes, I have a midriff...and yes, I truly believe it's meandering. It's very simple to explain...even to a person who doesn't quite understand what a midriff is, and how it could possibly be meandering. 

 Quite some time ago, I noticed my midriff taking on a new form. This new form is what we call "expansion." I didn't take a special pill for this, nor, did I order it from a catalog. Like many other middle age anomalies, it just decided to make an appearance one day. My assumption was that to ignore my midriff would result in its disappearance, which seemed like the logical next step for me to take. But did this happen? Of course not!!

Against strict instruction from my inner body self, my midriff invited a few friends over to join it....we'll call these friends the "fat cell." There was an entire family of these fat cells.....mother father, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, grandparents (from both sides of the family) and too many cousins to count! They came over, uninvited by me of course. But as most families do, they chose themselves to move in without any consideration to the homeowners feelings.

I believe that some of these "fat cell" members have given birth.....possibly to quadruplets or something because they're taking up more and more space. I did what every responsible homeowner would do when the fat cells became unruly and belligerent......I put up an eviction notice with a 30 day move out demand. Do you think they've listened? Of course not!!!

So.....I am a homeowner with a few tenants....that have moved in and refuse to leave....I recently noticed that they've invited another friend to move into my downstairs apartment as well... but this is a story for another day.....

Do I qualify for an extreme home makeover???

Theresa

"Are Stretch Marks a Punishment??"

Let's be honest.....if you've had children, don't stand there and tell me that you have "zero" stretchmarks!! After my share of pregnancies, I find it a little difficult to believe that a woman can get back to her "normal" weight and shave no stretchmarks. If you're one of those freaky people who can still get into the little polka dot bikini after experiencing childbirth and are able to display skin with no stretchmarks....you may want to question if the pregnancy was a product of your imagination!

I am stretch mark queen.......I don't say this simply or with pride....it's just a reality that I must live with each and every day I step out of the shower and see myself in the mirror. My body is a device that attracts stretch marks....and they grow like a bad virus. behind the knees, on the thighs, stomach area, and let's not forget the area we so lovingly refer to as "our human maracas!" One more area has fallen victim to these nasty skin deformers and it's the chest area. In this area of the body, they're out of control.....I think some of mine spell out phrases of some kind.....an underlying message to me, telling that it's only going to get worse as I get older.

So.....how do we rid our bodies of these obscene marks you might ask? Cocoa butter perhaps? No, this only works on reducing their effects "before" the problem begins. Those of you who are procrastinators and forget to rub on the lotion before birth....to bad. Do any of those infomerical promoted items work? I'll have to lean to the cautious side and say "Probably not, but they can empty our wallets if we let them." So, what's the remedy? I've found one thing that works quite effective, no matter how many stretchmarks you have an where they are.......

CLOTHING!!!!! Cover them up!!! Don't let exposure give your nasty secret away!!! Turtlenecks, long sleeve shirts, pants to the ankle.....heck, you may need a scarf if yours are really bad.....Do whatever is required but cover those ugly things up before anyone has the opportunity to comment on them or worse yet....take a picture!!!

Theresa

"Can Dieting make You Moody??"

I have to assume that dieting can indeed cause moodiness, this is not to say that I need something to blame my moodiness on. I'm quite aware of the fact that I can crank out without any help from diet medication!

I started taking a diet pill, (yes dad, it's a safe one) it's very light (no pun intended!) and is just meant to break down fats and carbs from eating. the trick is remembering to take it 30 minutes before eating. Heck, the challenge is remembering to eat!! I'm not one to plan my meals and stick to it unfortunately. I've heard of people who do 4-5 meals a day to control their eating. I have a hard enough time remembering to eat more then one time a time....can't imagine having to remember 4 or 5 times!

I've got hot flashes which I assume is the medication. I'll be working in my studio or doing housework and all of a sudden....bam!!! it hits me and I need to go jump in front of the freezer. The temperature on the A/C must be off (just like the scales!!!)

the cranking must be the diet, I can't imagine wanting to be this way when I'm not dieting. I feel bad for my coworkers....they have to tolerate me all day and they they're paid for this. I guess I'll have to think about buying them cake again....:-()

I'll let you know how it goes.....so far down 7 pounds (ok, so it went from 5 to 7 to 8 to 4 to 7 again) could this be my thyroid??? mmmmmmm.....

Theresa

"It Must Be Medical"

When you can't give reason to something going on it your life......blame it on a medical problem!!!!

One day I'm going to get on this site and say that the Diary of a Fat White Woman doesn't need to go on because I'm so skinny it wouldn't be right to do. But since my body has made it's own decision regarding the trip to a thinner me, the diary will go on, at least until I can figure this mess out!

I wish I understood the chemistry of the body so that I could understand why I'm not getting slimmer. Could it be a medical problem? Maybe my thyroid? (Doesn't one of them cause you to gain?? Is it contagious? could I have this?) Or maybe, my body is "confused" and thinks that any food I consume, be it healthy or loaded with everything bad is meant to put on weight.

I am convinced that on Tuesday I consumed 5 bottles of water and no food and added 4 pounds to my mass. Is this possible? Maybe someone is playing with my scale. it would be just like my kids to "tweak" it to put me into chaos. If not the kids then maybe one of the dogs? My husband wouldn't do this......he understands the value of living with a woman who is in a positive state of mine. He's experienced me outside of this state and I assure you he does not long for it to return.....

It must be medical. After all, I know it's not because of what I'm eating..... :-)

Theresa

"It Won't Stop Going Up!!!"

Yes!!! I'm talking about my weight!!! I've mentioned before on another seciton of my blog that was was caught up in the "workforce reductions" at work....(nice way to say "laid off!") and my entire schedule has been altered. I still get up every morning at 5:00 and stay up past a normal bed time. During the day I'm very busy, keeping up on things at home, doing homework and studying, looking for work and anything I can fit in to my day. I'm not sitting in front of the television eating bon bons (although I've heard that this is a wonderful thing to do!) I'm active and on the go, making sure that my life doesn't get stagnant as I go through this transition time.

So why on earth is my weight going up and not down? (Or at the very least, staying the same?) Maybe old age is hitting me faster then most and I'm going through that phase of shrinking and expanding? You know, when you get shorter and your hips get wider? But I'm too young for that and my height hasn't changed.

For one of my classes, I have to trackeverything I eat and my activity for the next 3 days, maybe this will unveil the mystery that I have yet been able to uncover by obvious means.

I just don't get it.......Time to go for a bike ride.....maybe I'll get rid of a few calories that way (or with the way things are going...I'll gain a few!!)

Theresa

"This Stuff Really Works!!!"

Go figure......I lose about 15 pounds, start feeling really good physically and BOOM!!!!! I go on vacation and ruin it!!! Don't ever think you can go to a camp in the woods and diet.....it's not humanly possible to do!!! at least not for me.......

I ate so poorly and the sad thing is, I knew I was doing it and I didn't stop!! All those whoopie pies....smores by the campfire......(ok, I ate marshmallows on the side but they were calling me!!) Pasta, potatoes, lobster (of course, with butter!) and a delightful drink called Moxie which has about 300 calories a can!!! I went from pretty lady to butterball queen in 10 days!!!

So now I'm watching what I eat again, slowly shedding a few pounds here and there.....BUT, I found a product that is helping to "aid" in my digestion and it really works!! have you tried Activia? You know, that yogurt stuff in the green containers? Commercials are everywhere for it but I've never been one to buy into commercials so I never really considered it.

I decided to give it a try. One Activia in the morning for breakfast with a bottle of water, a grilled chicken Caesar salad from McD's for lunch (Although I'm home now so I make my own "boring" salad....) and a reasonable dinner. Within a few days miracles started to happen!! I'm feeling a whole lot better physically and digestively (is that a word?) and I'm starting to lose my butterball image again!!! YEAH!!!

So I recommend it for anyone who hasn't tried it. not sure what else works but I remain a product skeptic. So if you know of anything else that doesn't involve needles or pills, please chime in and tell me all about it!!

Until next time!

Theresa